


Eighteen; in four pieces, a whole.

by untouchableface



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1970s, British Slang, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Group Marriage, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Multi, One Big Happy Family, Platonish Love, Post-Hogwarts, Puppy Piles, a night out, repost of old work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24068947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untouchableface/pseuds/untouchableface
Summary: A lovely, normal Muggle night out. Sort of.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marauders & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 12





	Eighteen; in four pieces, a whole.

Sometimes, when you're eighteen, you just go and get drunk and act your age for once. At least, that's what they'd agreed upon; when you're eighteen, you shouldn't have to worry about things like real life and growing up. When you've just graduated school you ought to be celebrating, not worrying about how so many people you know have gone missing, or that you could end up dead if you weren't careful.

A few well-executed charms in an Underground station had disguised them all as Muggles, and it was to a Muggle bar that they went.

Lily had turned her hair blonde, changing her eyes to a deep blue to match. Her nose was a bit bigger, while her breasts were smaller; done of course as an experiment to see how James and the others would react.

Sirius made himself look like Sid Vicious - close, but not quite a dead ringer if one looked hard enough. Presumably, he wanted fans of the Sex Pistols to fall at his feet.

James opted for simple changes - lightening his hair slightly and adding some blonde streaks, along with a sandy goatee to match. He also added a bit of pudge around his middle, giving him the appearance of a teddy-bear when appraised along with the rest of the changes.

Remus too went for simplicity. Lengthening his hair, fading his scars, and changing his eyes to a sea-green suited him just fine. He'd borrowed a spare hair-tie from Lily to secure his hair into a ponytail, and he was set.

Peter, on the other hand, changed himself more drastically than the rest, emerging taller, leaner, and decidedly more handsome. Awkward in his new flesh, it seemed somehow ironic that he was still following the others, trailing behind Remus as they followed the other boys out of the bathroom.

It wasn't long before they'd gotten a few rounds in, and the effects were apparent.

"A little more round the middle, hmm?" Lily was poking James' tummy playfully, a merciless grin on her face.

"That must be where these went, hmm?" James made a lewd show of grabbing her chest, and was treated to a playful slap as a reward.

Remus, in one corner of the booth, was sandwiched between Lily and the wall. He was doing his best to appear completely sober and rational, which meant that he was more than slightly drunk. "But James! That isn't a qualitative assessment, it's quantitative. Orrr..."

Lily nudged him in the ribs. "You're really not helping, you know!"

Sirius - who, despite his size, seemed to have a problem with holding his liquour - was using Peter as a leaning-post, on the other side of the booth. "I don't know why you made 'em go away," he huffed. "Though it's not like you're showing 'em off to us, so-ACK!"

He was cut off as Peter moved suddenly, causing him to topple over. "Lily, not all blokes are as perverted as these ones." He looked a bit uncomfortable, if anything. "If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't staring at your, um, chest."

"It's okay, Peter. I'm used to it by now," she chuckled, slurring her words slightly. "Maybe if you lot are really lucky, next time I'll go the other way."

Four pairs of eyes widened simultaneously at the thought. "What do we need to do to get luck-OW!" Sirius yelped as James' foot connected somewhere near the general vicinity of his shin.

"Oi, back off!" James waggled his eyebrows at Sirius. "She hasn't given me permission to share. Yet."

"Yet?" Lily wailed, a little too loudly. "D'you hear that, Remus?" The look on his face implied that he had, and Lily turned to Peter as her last, desperate hope. "Share!" she exclaimed. "D'you hear that Peter? He thinks he wants to share."

Peter muttered something intangible as Sirius slung an arm around him. "Come on, mate. Join our cause, yeah? Miss Firepants doesn't need any help."

"I, umm..." The excessive physicality from his mates when they were less than sober had always made Peter a bit nervous. He was pretty sure that they all were straight, but they sometimes went beyond what he considered normal affection between blokes. And, just in case, he wanted to put some physical distance between them and himself, just so they didn't get any _ideas_ about him. What they did with each other - the hugging and snuggling and the like - he had barely managed to do with a girl.

"Oh! Petey!" Lily pointed to his face in a rather ungainly way. "You need to go, err, freshen up." He'd never been quite as good at charms as Lily was; his attempt at some more complex ones had held up for awhile, but they were starting to slip.

"S'alright," Sirius laughed. "All the birds in this place are drunk anyway, they won't ca-OW! Enough with the abuse!" This time it was Lily who'd kicked him under the table; she'd noticed the way Peter's face fell, just a little, as Sirius opened his mouth.

"I think I'm just gonna go home," Peter muttered, standing up from the table. "Long day tomorrow for me and all..." They tried to convince him to stay, but he scurried away hastily.

"That wasn't very nice, _you_." Lily stretched across the table, and poked Sirius in the chest.

"Enough with the abuse!" Sirius cried, though it was clear that he didn't really mind. "Besides, we didn't _make_ him leave."

"Mmm, yes. But now that he has, the three of us don't need to all stay on one side of the booth, while you hog the rest." Very proud of his completely sober, completely rational thought, Remus elbowed Lily to move over. In turn, she began poking James until he fled to the other side of the table.

"Are you happy now, Remus?" James whined. "You made me give up my lady-love to go and sit beside this mangy mutt."

Finally able to get some retribution, Sirius cuffed James on the back of the head. "I bet I smell better than she does," he pouted, " _and_ take a shorter time getting there in the shower. Plus, I don't poke people!" He barked a laugh, clearly proud of himself.

Lily stuck out her tongue in reply and the four of them continued to trade good-natured insults, in between taking turns buying subsequent rounds of ale. Finally, a rather cross barman came to inform them that they were the last ones left, and he would really rather sleep _before_ the sun came up.

They left merrily with their arms around one another, all talking about James and Lily's wedding. They didn't know where they were going, but they were content to wander the street until they arrived at someone's flat. As they passed a cathedral, Sirius stopped, his eyes wide.

"Oof, what?" Remus grunted, his arm and shoulder coming to a full stop before the rest of him did.

"We should **all** get married!" Sirius grinned lopsidedly; it wasn't clear if it was actually him, or just the alcohol talking. "Right now!"

There were still candles burning in the windows of the cathedral, which was the only reason why _completely sober and totally rational_ Remus agreed that it would be a good idea. That, and Lily's fingers dug into his hips, dragging him along; James, on the other side of Lily, got much the same treatment.

A rather alarmed-looking priest emerged somewhere from the back of the church when the four of them stumbled in, all still holding tightly to each other. "Help us, Father," Sirius sighed dramatically, "for we must get married immediately!"

The priest flushed, clearly not accustomed to drunks such as Sirius. "I, err... all of you?"

"Yes!" They spoke in unison, though with various degrees of excitement and volume. Lately, it was as if they all lived together anyway... this would just link them officially in the eyes of the world, Merlin, and all that rot.

"I, err, can't do that," the priest apologized. "If one of you blokes and the lady were to come in with a license-"

Lily cut him off, sidling up to him. "We could pay you, you know," she purred, extracting her wallet from where in her cleavage she had placed it. The priest just flushed more, obviously too polite to turn them away but unable to do anything else.

"So much for not sharing you, hmm?" James smirked vaguely in Lily's direction. He'd meant it as a joke earlier - or at least he thought he had. It was hard for him to see through the haze that had been three hours previous.

"Just wave your hands and say it's done," Remus offered helpfully. He was undoubtedly the most embarassed by it all, though he was not so secretly chuffed that Lily, James, and Sirius would all want to include him as well.

The priest looked absolutely terrified by the lot of them, as if he realized that Sirius would insist in camping out all night until he'd gotten what he wanted. He also knew that the people before him were much less than sober; what they wanted would certainly not be accepted by the Church, but they were the only ones in the cathedral, and likely to make a lot of noise if he didn't help them out. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he appraised them, and muttered, "May you all be kept together in spiritual love and friendship, four parts coming together as a whole." He swallowed again, hoping that would be adequate enough to satisfy them and shoo them away, as he raised a shaking hand and waved it in their general direction.

Sirius was placated, Lily teared up slightly at what she thought were "beautiful words", and both James and Remus had an arm around her, one on each side, and were nuzzling her neck.

"'S a lovely job, mate!" Sirius grinned, patting the priest on the arm. "Thanks for that, now I feel all proper and holy and shite." He grabbed James by the hand and pulled him toward the exit, consequently dragging Lily and Remus along behind them. "Now we can all go shag, and be blessed for it!"

Lily's flat was the closest in terms of stumbling distance, and the four of them soon ended up in her queen-sized bed. Lily and Remus snuggled in the middle, with James and Sirius on the outsides, spooning them. It would be a small miracle if any of them woke before noon the next day; it would be even more entertaining if they happened to recall the events of that night. Living in sin - or not - was damned comfortable, either way.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in 2007. I'm cleaning out my archives and posting work that doesn't suck entirely.


End file.
